Seeing clearly, and why to order dessert

Finally, after months/years(/days if you’re lucky) of questioning yourself and your life choices and the “why” of everything in your present state in life, BAM, it finally becomes clear to you. Or rather, you feel the absolute peace that you haven’t felt in a long time.

Have you ever experienced that phenomenon of utter and absolute peace after inner turmoil? (I’m speaking dramatically, but it kind of is inherently dramatic.) This week as been filled with relief and relaxation. Nothing was really wrong, per se, but I wasn’t settled.


You see, I’m a person who needs to live passionately or not at all, and I obviously am going to keep on living. If I don’t have that fire in me, I earnestly cannot be motivated by anything else. No, I’m not talking about a relationship — in a relationship, you have ups and downs but ultimately either remain together or don’t, and it’s not realistic to expect total passion all the time — and I’m not talking about a need to always be excited and then leaving any commitment/team/situation when you get bored.


I mean, if you are committing your blood/sweat/tears to something, you need to BELIEVE in that something. If you don’t, then you’re just sweating and bleeding and crying. Would you ever train for a marathon without WANTING to do one? Didn’t think so.

I’m speaking cryptically right now, but my soul is so light and refreshed that I can’t form the words to be specific. I will, though. I will.


In other news, just a quick casual drive down to Capitola for lunch today:



Salmon with fresh veggies and skin-on garlic mashed potatoes. Healthy and also not!



YEAH, that’s just fried cheesecake and caramel. No, I didn’t go running today. Don’t worry about it.

My cat, Fitzgerald, had to go to the vet today. He was vomiting and had some pretty disastrous bathroom stuff going on in the back. Turns out that he has no qualms exploring a new space.

He’s now the proud owner of a shaved tushie (the word “tush”/ “tushie” always reminds me of Cory Mathews in Boy Meets World. Anyone else?) and a bunch of anti-flea/worm medication. Pray for him! His white blood cells are off the churts. (I’m filled with Jean Ralphio quotes, by the way. All you Parks & Rec fans bow down!)


Anyone out there with those big “a-ha!” moments of clarity?


Cat owners: I need some tips for preventing fleas going forward!

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