Duh. Couples hibernation is a very real thing. Anyone who’s ever been in a great relationship knows this. Anyone who’s ever been in a really terrible relationship that they really wanted to make work knows this. Anyone who has ever had a friend who got into a relationship knows this. So, everyone knows this.
Even more real than the couples hibernation is the crap that everyone says. For example, my friends created a VERY INTRICATE rumor about my relationship.
I met my S.O. in an improv class. After 6 weeks of classes (and unspoken crushes on each other) we finally started dating. After we started dating, we continued to take improv classes. One series took place on Tuesdays — the same night as Pub Trivia with my friends.
You should also know that Tim (my S.O.) and I went to meet his family in Maine when we were only 3 months deep. All my friends predicted (jokingly…I hope) that we would break up on the trip.
Obviously we did not break up, but we did sign up for a series of improv classes that occurred on Tuesday nights that began immediately after the trip. For 4 weeks I missed my beloved Trivia Night at Fibbar Magee’s (for local Bay Area people DO NOT JUDGE ME! IT’S THE BEST!). On top of that, I was reserving most nights and weekends for spending more time with my honey.
But to no surprise, that totally does NOT make life satisfying! Yes, being with bae is absolutely something that makes my life significantly more significant and wonderful and happy and everything. But not having girlfriends, or trivia friends, or just normal life that isn’t bae — that’s NOT happiness.
I have been in my relationship for 10 months. To some, this is no time at all; to some, this is very substantial. To me, this is exactly the time it took to realize that one person is not enough to satisfy my every need. To realize I have grown so incredibly much and learned so much about compromise. To realize that perfection ISN’T attainable, but that someone who is committed to you is going to love you anyway, and that “for life” is for real.
My rational, semi-well-educated brain tells me that I must do whatever I can to make myself great before anyone will take me seriously. But my S.O. tells me that just me is exactly right. My cheesy, don’t-be-lame brain says that what I just typed is insane and please don’t publish that. My current brain tells me who cares, you’ve had a couple beers and people know you’re not a total lame-o.
My real point is that the Weight Watchers commercial with Oprah talking about bread excessively is RIDICULOUS. And also, I have found an incredible partner with whom I will share my entire life. And through that I have learned that that whole “love yourself first” thing is pretty real. And it took me 26+ years to really see that I need to take care of myself first and that I will never be perfect (even though my therapist has said this a million times). And I am seriously the most content I’ve ever been. To keep this less cheesy, let’s just blame Oprah.